Just to make you chuckle...

A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he

looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he

turned them one by one.


He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the

Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It

was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed

between the pages of the Bible long ago."Momma, look

what I found!" the boy called out.



"What do you have there?" his mother asked.


With astonishment in his voice, the young boy

answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

Too Funny!!

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

Squirrel - it's what's for supper

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

Dead on Acurate!

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Damn things!

kinda true...

You Are 80% Indie

You're a very indie person, and admit it, you look down a little on people who strive to be normal.You'll indulge in a little mainstream pop culture every now and then. But for you, anything not indie is a guilty pleasure!

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howindieareyouquiz/">How Indie Are You?

Today's Deep Thought

When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it: this is knowledge.
-- Confucius

I Never

Have you ever.....
Gotten stuck in an elevator? No but I did meet a couple in a hotel elevator once who wanted to "swap parters." Nope didn't do it...
Egged a person? Had an egg war with Jeff Steele at Calvin Crest many many moons ago. God! I had the hugest crush on him.
Stalked someone to find out where they work or live? Now really... would I do something like that?
Spent an entire day in nothing but your underwear? Hell yes! It's a hundred and pinche 12 degrees and my air was on the fritz last week!
Read some friends mail or other personal papers without them knowing? Not that I can remember
Gone skinny dipping? Yep, several times were in my Mom's old boss's pool. I was housesitting for heavens sake! He wasn't there.
Been in a fist fight? One... then I moved back home to Fresno. SSM had to stay with me for 2 days before I left.
Last....
Time you tripped? Climbing out of the horse pen at Apj's on July 4th. Cuz that damn Kowboi didn't tell me we could open the gate!!
Time you cleaned up the base of your toilet? Do you people know me? Jeez...
Gum you had? Extra Green Apple, which apparently combined with Marlboro breath smells like KGB, cuz I always get asked if I'm holding.
Pair of socks? Last pair of socks what? That I wore? White cotton at work today.
Beverage you had? Orange flavored sparkling water.
Spur of the moment decision you made? To throw some cranberries into my whole wheat couscous. Yeah, I'm a big time risk taker!
Movie you watched? Jarhead. Now I understand why a certain lasagna always says Hoo Rah.
Say if your best friend told you they love you? Yeah, I know.
What are you wearing? aqua blue boy briefs and a grey t-shirt
What are you thinking? Is this taking me too long? Am I gonna lose my damn dial-up connection?
What are you listening to? Ava knocking God knows what over in the living room.
Are you annoyed by the length of this survey? See... what are you thinking.
How many people in the room? Just me and my invisible lover.
Any cuts or bruises on your body? Yeah, I still have bruise on my knee from falling out of the horse pen on July 4th, cuz KOWBOIDIDN'TTELLMEWECOULDOPENTHEDAMNGATE!!!!
Are there any animals in the room? Bodhi and Veruca...maybe Ava...not sure cuz I don't hear anything breaking at the moment.
Are you eating anything? Nope.
People who I would like to do this? whatever...

Guess the Punchline...

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Answer coming soon....

Stolen from APj

OK- this is a little scary... go for it!

pick one word from each pair that you think describes Jade Ed Girl the best and leave it in the comments. Then i'll do you!! -- Your heart should be racing about now...--then copy this and post it in your own journal(if you want to do so)to see how your friends view you.

*dominant or submissive
*logical or intuitive
*social or loner
*kinky or vanilla
*cute or sophisticated
*kitten or puppy
*warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
*leader or follower
*quiet or talkative
*spontaneous or planned
*teddy bear or porcelain doll
*hiking or window shopping
*tequila or vodka
*top or bottom
*bare foot or shoes
*jeans or slacks
*tender or rough
*aware or dreamy
*nerd or jock
*brains or brawn
*common sense or book smarts
*pretty or sexy

Not too bad...

Your Birthdate: January 27

You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.Helping others is also important to you. You enjoy social activities with that goal.You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return. Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge Your power color: Cobalt blue Your power symbol: Dove Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Trick Questions?

Looks like I had a trick question or 2 that even APj and SSM didn't get. So here it is..

1. Jobs I’ve had in my life:a. rape crisis counselor b. caterer c. record store manager
Yep- so true... never a caterer, though I love to cook for my friends.

2. movie I'd watch over & over: a. anything Harrison Ford. b. anything Johnny Depp c. anything Keanu Reeves
Oviously there's no confusion here. Harrison who?

3. places I've lived:a. Fresno, CA b. Seattle WA c. Clovis, CA4.
OK- this was a trick question, though I thought that SSM would get it. I lived in Clovis for a few months. I actually never lived in Seattle. I lived in Lynwood, WA.

4. tv show I love/loved to watch:a. Sopranos b. Lost c. Party of Five
Guess this was hard too. Lost was an easy keeper. I don't have cable, never seen a full episode of the Sopranos. LOVED Party of Five (There seems to be a Matthew Fox theme here. But really it's all about Sawyer and Griffin.)

5. place I've been on vacation:a. Florida b. Boston c. Hawaii
Never been to Hawaii. Used to visit family in Boston and Florida

6. One of my favorite foods:a. sushi b. spaghetti c. bagel with lox cream cheese
Gosh... just because I'm Italian... I hate spaghetti!!

7. something I'd rather be doing right now:a. sleeping b. cleaning my apartment c. Johnny Depp
Too easy. I always rather be doing Johhny Depp, or sleeping so that I can dream about it.

8. Something I always/usually carry with me: a. matches b. lip balm c. dental floss
No matches, purple lighter in my left pants pocket at all times.

Playing Games with APj

OK- let's see how well you know me...

1. Jobs I’ve had in my life:
a. rape crisis counselor b. caterer c. record store manager
2. movie I'd watch over & over:
a. anything Harrison Ford. b. anything Johnny Depp c. anything Keanu Reeves
3. places I've lived:
a. Fresno, CA b. Seattle WA c. Clovis, CA
4. tv show I love/loved to watch:
a. Sopranos b. Lost c. Party of Five
5. place I've been on vacation:
a. Florida b. Boston c. Hawaii
6. One of my favorite foods:
a. sushi b. spaghetti c. bagel with lox cream cheese
7. something I'd rather be doing right now:
a. sleeping b. cleaning my apartment c. Johnny Depp
8. Something I always/usually carry with me:
a. matches b. lip balm c. dental floss

State of the Union

Can't seem to make myself clean my apartment. And it's dirty...really dirty, not just the usual messy. The evil Volvo is boasting a red "Check Engine" light, although she appears to be just fine. Not sure if she's crying wolf this time, but this car and I seem to have a relationship that needs to end. Where to find the money for a new(er) car? Good question. Work 40+ hours a week and still can't seem to make ends meet. Solutions... realistically... need a new better paying job or 2nd job. My Dad would help if he could, but let's face it, my Dad's plate is overflowing trying to care for my Mom, and what right have I to accept his help when I could help him by taking care of my Mom in my free time, but I don't because it makes me crazy and brings up too much unresolved childhood anger. Would leave the house and go do something (since I'm obviously not cleaning) but where to go when you're broke and the damn Check Engine light is taunting you! So I've slept, most of today. Been doing that a lot lately. Sometimes I dream I'm somewhere beautiful. Sometimes I dream I'm driving a new car. Sometimes I dream I'm in love. Sometimes I dream that my Mom can walk. Sometimes I dream about friends that I miss. Sometimes I dream that I am thin and beautiful. Sometimes I dream that I have a lovely home and people who love me in... Dreaming is good.