jade ed gypsy

Sunday, July 09, 2006

State of the Union

Can't seem to make myself clean my apartment. And it's dirty...really dirty, not just the usual messy. The evil Volvo is boasting a red "Check Engine" light, although she appears to be just fine. Not sure if she's crying wolf this time, but this car and I seem to have a relationship that needs to end. Where to find the money for a new(er) car? Good question. Work 40+ hours a week and still can't seem to make ends meet. Solutions... realistically... need a new better paying job or 2nd job. My Dad would help if he could, but let's face it, my Dad's plate is overflowing trying to care for my Mom, and what right have I to accept his help when I could help him by taking care of my Mom in my free time, but I don't because it makes me crazy and brings up too much unresolved childhood anger. Would leave the house and go do something (since I'm obviously not cleaning) but where to go when you're broke and the damn Check Engine light is taunting you! So I've slept, most of today. Been doing that a lot lately. Sometimes I dream I'm somewhere beautiful. Sometimes I dream I'm driving a new car. Sometimes I dream I'm in love. Sometimes I dream that my Mom can walk. Sometimes I dream about friends that I miss. Sometimes I dream that I am thin and beautiful. Sometimes I dream that I have a lovely home and people who love me in... Dreaming is good.

6 Were Jade Ed :

  • At 10:05 PM, Blogger Katie :) said…

    I understand how the money thing goes sometimes, but chick give me a call! :)
    As for dreams, they are wonderful, totally make everything seem okay.
    You are such a beautiful person, regardless, so no more need for dreams of anything other than how you are!
    Tuesday, you, me, the bar, drinks on me. I'll come pick you up so the evil red light doesn't taunt you! :)

     
  • At 5:21 AM, Blogger lecram sinun said…

    Bar hopping girls! This could mean real trouble! :)

     
  • At 9:36 AM, Blogger Lelly said…

    Sorry you're feeling down, Jade...but Katie sounds like a good mate! If I could I'd come join ya on your bar-hoppin'...hope things cheer up for you soon!

     
  • At 12:15 PM, Blogger airplanejayne said…

    solutions:
    01) switch to paper plates. Never need cleaning.
    02) place bandaid over check engine light.
    03) Stop dreaming and get thee out of the house!!!
    :)
    and you KNOW I'll always come get ya....

     
  • At 6:14 PM, Blogger Lacquer, Semi-Gloss Lacquer said…

    re: red light in volvo...
    (do you know how to check your fluids? maybe oil is getting a bit on the sludgie side or low?
    Sometimes those things are just codes to say that you have required maint. coming up..

    -if it's a Volvo, and you can handle the payments, it may be trade-able for something a bit less problematic, (new is not always better, dearie..)
    (nissan, toyota, honda, hyundai, jetta's, a benz... (older ones,) even an old taurus, escort, or
    Neon/K/small dodge (with a good tranny,) will last...

    Job...
    find what you love to do, and then go after it like a she-bear after a jar of honey on a skateboard... (pity da fool betwixt ya's)

    Fam...
    help as much as you are able, but realize that sometimes a kiss on the cheek as you head out for a walk, can go a long way, (after all, you are coming back... go at it slow.)

    Sometimes, what our folks want to see, to make them feel better, is us just happy and living life...(parents are weird like that... but it really helps them...)

    -luck with the room, I have power tools if required...

     
  • At 8:25 PM, Blogger jade ed girl said…

    To all.. thanks for the love, advise and putting up with me. I'm feelin a little better. Focusing on the un-broken stuff.

     

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