jade ed gypsy

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Note from the Pussy

And a gutter runs through it... It's not that kind of story. My lovely black kit Veruca has repeatedly jumped on the keyboard tonight. Thought I'd walk away and let her have her say...

Veruca's Diary, Day 623 of my captivity:
My captor continues to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. She dines lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captor by weaving around her feet while she was walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse my vile oppressor, I again induced myself to vomit on her favorite chair, must try this on her bed.
Decapitated a june bug and brought her the still twitching body, in an attempt to make her aware of what I am capable of, and to strike fear in her heart. She only cooed about what a good little bug catcher I was. Hmmmm, not working according to plan.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. Dog is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, must be an informant, it speaks with her regularly. I am sure he reports on my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....

11 Were Jade Ed :

  • At 7:22 AM, Blogger airplanejayne said…

    Meee---oowwww, meee---ooowww!
    Translation: Yes, I too do things to drive my person nuts. My favorite is to drink the water from her fish bowl. Ha-Ha-! The water gets lower and lower, and the fish gets so scared!

    Princess Martini of Num-Num

    (hey, I didn't think of the name! Captors daughter did. See what I have to be angry about?!?)

     
  • At 9:10 PM, Blogger lecram sinun said…

    Attention all Covert Agent Terrorist Spies! The time has not come to strike. Wait for the signal from FELINE CORE. Don't blow your cover or all will be lost. These inferior humans are clueless of our real intent... but suspisions are beginning to arise. Try to curb those "I'm the real master and you are my lowly serf" looks. Attempt cultivating more of those "Huh... I'm just a stupid cat.." looks... just like those stupid dogs do. If you have to... lick a hand once in a while but never ever wag your tail and look happy when a human arrives. That would be tantamount to treason.

    You have your instructions... now wait for the signal... it will come soon.

    yours in feline power,
    Pussy Galore

     
  • At 6:42 AM, Blogger Lelly said…

    Our persons went away for a week on holiday (Corsica) and left incompetant friend to feed and water us. Twice he staggered in drunk after work and we used our mind-meld techniques to ensure he gave us too much food...hah!
    When persons returned 6 HOURS LATE yesterday we of course feigned affection until we were fed. They seemed glad to see us THE FOOLS!
    The armchair had had fresh scratches and the new lawn has large brown pee patches...HOW MUCH MORE EVIDENCE DO THEY NEED of our distain?
    As one of the female person's birthday cards said:
    "Dogs believe they're human...Cats believe they're GOD!"
    Frank, Bella and Smudge
    P.U.K.E
    (Pussies United Kick...Erm-arse?)

     
  • At 6:44 AM, Blogger Lelly said…

    ...yeah nd they can't spell...distain DISDAIN nincompoop!

     
  • At 6:44 AM, Blogger Lelly said…

    AND they can't spell and either!

     
  • At 9:26 PM, Blogger airplanejayne said…

    veruca.....
    from 'Willy Wonka'....or 'The Craft'?

    APj

     
  • At 10:48 PM, Blogger jade ed girl said…

    Willie Wonka- went she wants somethin'- she wants it NOW! And also the band of the same name- Veruca Salt- kind of a one hitter w/ the song "Seether." Hadn't thought of "The Craft" connection, but it fits too. Specially since she's a wicked little all black kit:)

     
  • At 11:30 PM, Blogger airplanejayne said…

    scary. not the black kitty thingy...
    the thingy where you know the direction my brain goes....AND I know the direction your brain goes...
    be afraid...be very afraid....


    yes...still feeling the effects of sanka....

     
  • At 9:01 PM, Blogger Tinelle said…

    Your rendition of a cat is hilarious.

     
  • At 4:26 PM, Blogger kien lim said…

    The cats ganged up on Fluffy and killed him.

     
  • At 6:53 PM, Blogger jade ed girl said…

    Oh, I'm sorry. That's dreadful. Who's fluffy?

     

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