Shookie and the Snails

The roomies and I are blessed with a large backyard. It has a nice little pond and lot's of lovely plants. However, we quite recently discovered that the plants were being munched on by gigantic colonies of not so lovely slugs with mobile homes attached to their backsides. Discussion ensued as to how best rid ourselves of these unwelcome guests. All decided that snail bait was not an option due to the furry friends we share our home with. Wouldn't want the dogs or kitties getting into that. Or, heaven forbid, the squirrels, as I've heard that can be quite harmful to the Karma.
So, Shookie walked round the yard with the mop bucket. Investigating under every leaf and bit of wood, depositing the little beasts as she went along. Soon the bucket was unbeleivably full. Next dilemma was, of course, what to do with them now. Discussed purging them with corn meal and cooking with butter and garlic. This idea was too labor intensive for Shook, and too distasteful for me. None of us fancied excecution. Final decision? Snail relocation project- Phase One.
Took the bucket of slimeys out to the divider (lovely grassy strip with trees which seperates the east bound from west bound traffic on our street) and dumped it.
Later that day, all seemed well. A large percentage of the legless wonders had climbed up and attached themselves to the lamp post. It was kind of attractive, very post-post modern artsy. Caught the neighbors on several occasions looking up at them with confused smiles on their faces. All was well.
Until day Two- the crazy little buggers apparantly have some sort of homing device or our nastertiums were calling them back to partake of their edible orange flowers. Anyway, bout half of them decided to cross the road back home. It was truly dreadful. There crushed carcasses still litter the asphault. I must say though, when the sun shines just right on the slime trails, it's breath taking! And the streetwise other half of the colony are doin' great.