jade ed gypsy

So, I'm always behind, so what?

2007-05-06T15:36:00.000-07:00

The lovely Katie posed these interview questions for me.
These are really tough questions!!

1. What is your favorite part of the house you now live in and why?
OK- so, still not moved in entirely, still stressing on every room. So- my bedroom, cuz it has a lock on the door!!
2. Between Karaoke, Cooking, and caring for animals- if you had to give up one for life which would it be and why?
You sooo suck for asking my to choose! This is like Sophie's choice! Ok- I'd give up Karaoke, cuz nothing would die and I can't make a living singing anyway.
3. Do fairy tales come true? how?
God, I hope so. How? Faith
4. What is one place you have always wanted to visit- what is your attraction to that place?
Easy question. Ireland. Of course I'm drawn to the history and magical myths. But come on, they have the best beer, best whiskey and men with freckles. So wanna got to Ireland!!
5. Vanilla or Chocolate for each of the following: ice cream, milk shakes, cake, pudding
I'm really a non-purist when it comes to ice cream. I love vanilla with other stuffed mixed in, but if it's gonna be plain, then chocolate. Milkshake? Chocolate, hopefully malted. Cake is definitely Vanilla. Pudding?.... I guess chocolate.

Come One, Come All

2007-05-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

Karaoke tonight!! Dinner before, 8ish. You know where....

2007-03-31T14:35:00.000-07:00

Your Life Path Number is 7

Your purpose in life is to find truth and meaning
Yep
You are very spiritual, and you are interested in the mysteries of life.
Yep
You are quite analytical and a great thinker. You have many theories and insights.
On a good day
A life of solitude is perfect for you. You need time to think and do things your way.
Hella yep
In love, you are quite charming. You attract many with your confidence and wit.
Ok- so maybe not
While you enjoy being alone, sometimes you take it to an extreme.
Yep
You can become too isolated, shutting out loved ones and friends.
On a bad day
Express yourself a little bit more, and you'll be surprised where it takes you!

What Is Your Life Path Number?

2007-03-31T14:22:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
True... damnit!!
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
Sometimes ya need to hear it.
You'd like your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
Nah.... comfortable and amazing.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Break up with? I'd never be with a person who had those qualities to begin with.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Well, of course I do. I am Relationship Girl.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
Monogomous Relationship Girl
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
See above
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.
Kinda scary. APj and I have a lot of the same keys. That may explain a few things....

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

What the??

2007-03-26T20:06:00.001-07:00

Can't find my pants.
Thumb smells weird.
And my bird can sing.

2007-03-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

Your Personality Cluster is Introverted Feeling

You are:

Tolerant, flexible, and open to new ideas.
A stickler for integrity and authenticity.
Passionate about causes, beliefs, or politics.
Likely to have many "best friends" from many walks of life

What's Your Personality Cluster?

2007-03-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

You Are A Cypress Tree

You are strong, adaptable, and striving to be content.
You're good at taking what life has to give - even if you don't like it.
A passionate lover who can't be satisfied, you are quick tempered at times.
You hate loneliness, want love and affection, and need to be needed.
A bit of a live wire, you love to gain knowledge any cost... and you can be careless at times.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

It's a Start

2007-03-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

Write exactly whats in your head and don't change it..

1. My 'ex' is still.... the owner of the house I live in

2. I am listening to.... the sound of TV from the other room

3. Maybe I should.... change

4. I love.... my nephew

5. My best friend(s)... thinks I am homicidal right now.

6. I don't understand..... how other people's minds work sometimes.....

7. I've lost my respect for..... myself usually

8. I last ate...... orange chicken

9. The meaning of my display name is.... you all know that story :)

10. Love is.... elusive

11. Someday.... somewaayay maybe I'll understand you....

12. I will always.... keep hoping

13. Love seems to be.... found where least expected

14. I never ever want to lose....my hair

15. My mobile phone is....in my pocket

16. When I woke up this morning.... I called in sick to work and went to the doctor.

17. I get annoyed at/with.... change, inconsistencies

18. Parties…. are better with a small group of friends

19. My pets... are all around me

20. Kisses.... are a good thing

How 'bout you?

Go for a Spin

2006-08-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

I get out of bed... the room spins. I sit back down....the room spins. Start to get ready for work.... hmmm... why are all my rooms spinning? I MUST get ready and go to work. I have to open therewillbenoonelesethere ifIdon'tgotoworkIcannotgooutandKaraoketonight... the damn room is still spinning!! Get shift covered, call trusty friend, lay back down... room still spinning.
No, I'm not in love, and I haven't been on a binge!

Go to the Dr... discover I have Vertigo. No, not the Kim Novak movie or the U2 song. Don't know how long it will last. Supposed to stay home from work for at least a week. (Not gonna happen... I mean, no worky... no checky!) Not supposed to drive. So far, I've honored that one. Friends have taken me to the Dr, taken me to get my rx, picked me up and brought me over for dinner and a movie (and actually a shower, too, but that's not as exciting as it sounds and I know how you are!) Apj picked me up to go to breakfast and took me grocery shopping (Yes... APj took me to the store, aren't you jealous?) She even emptied the kitty boxes for me. Now THAT is a true friend. I did reward her by playing a certain scene from the Director's cut of Alexander in slow motion... and let her take it home with her. So if you call and she doesn't answer..... :)

But I missed Karaoke. And I was already missing my new friends. And I HATE not being able to do things for myself!! Sooo.... hopefully it will pass soon, really really soon.

I have caught up on watching a few movies that I wanted to see. In addition to Alexander... June Bug (which I didn't really care for) 2046 which is stunningly beautiful and I highly recommend. Especially to Kien (cuz your girlfriend, Ziyi is in it) and Lecram (cuz they make use of your favorite Connie Francis song... and Gong Li) Also saw Breakfast on Pluto... brilliant film by Neil Jordon! Now trying to decide if I want to rewatch So You Married an Axe Murderer, or Carlito's Way. Hmmm... decisions, decisions.

Miss you all.

Saporo Time

2006-08-02T21:50:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking Tokyo Gardens... next Friday. Not this Friday... but the 11th. Any takers?

hmmmm

2006-08-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

You Are Absinthe

You are a sloppy drunk, purposely soIf drinking doesn't make you feel crazy, it's not any funTruth be told, you tend to prefer drugs to drinkingBut you'd never pass up any absinthe that came your way!

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatalcoholicdrinkareyouquiz/">What Alcoholic Drink Are You?

Bad Momma!!

2006-08-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

Ok- so... I know I'm a bad mother. Really, really horrible! I know that when your 7 month old daughter is in danger, your first thought should be for her safety. Was that my response? Noooo.... I know that when she is frightened I should comfort her. But did I? Nooooo....

Even if said "daughter" happens to be of the feline variety... and even if a Kleenex box on the head is not deadly... shouldn't I have run to her and removed the box? Of course, I should have! (Even if I haven't gotta should, DKL... this time I really shoulda) But again... did I? Nooooo.

I ran alright... laughing, to the other room... to get my camera. Bad Momma!
Great footage! I'm gonna have to have Lecram help me post it.

Don't worry... Ava is fine. It aparently wasn't that traumatic for her, cuz she stuck her head back in the box a minute after she got it off!

Just to make you chuckle...

2006-07-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he

looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he

turned them one by one.

He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the

Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It

was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed

between the pages of the Bible long ago."Momma, look

what I found!" the boy called out.

"What do you have there?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in his voice, the young boy

answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

Too Funny!!

2006-07-28T23:47:00.000-07:00

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

Squirrel - it's what's for supper

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

Dead on Acurate!

2006-07-28T23:29:00.000-07:00

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality.
Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine.
You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion.
You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Damn things!

2006-07-28T23:22:00.000-07:00

kinda true...

You Are 80% Indie

You're a very indie person, and admit it, you look down a little on people who strive to be normal.You'll indulge in a little mainstream pop culture every now and then. But for you, anything not indie is a guilty pleasure!

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howindieareyouquiz/">How Indie Are You?

Today's Deep Thought

2006-07-28T23:17:00.000-07:00

When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it: this is knowledge.
-- Confucius

I Never

2006-07-28T22:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever.....
Gotten stuck in an elevator? No but I did meet a couple in a hotel elevator once who wanted to "swap parters." Nope didn't do it...
Egged a person? Had an egg war with Jeff Steele at Calvin Crest many many moons ago. God! I had the hugest crush on him.
Stalked someone to find out where they work or live? Now really... would I do something like that?
Spent an entire day in nothing but your underwear? Hell yes! It's a hundred and pinche 12 degrees and my air was on the fritz last week!
Read some friends mail or other personal papers without them knowing? Not that I can remember
Gone skinny dipping? Yep, several times were in my Mom's old boss's pool. I was housesitting for heavens sake! He wasn't there.
Been in a fist fight? One... then I moved back home to Fresno. SSM had to stay with me for 2 days before I left.
Last....
Time you tripped? Climbing out of the horse pen at Apj's on July 4th. Cuz that damn Kowboi didn't tell me we could open the gate!!
Time you cleaned up the base of your toilet? Do you people know me? Jeez...
Gum you had? Extra Green Apple, which apparently combined with Marlboro breath smells like KGB, cuz I always get asked if I'm holding.
Pair of socks? Last pair of socks what? That I wore? White cotton at work today.
Beverage you had? Orange flavored sparkling water.
Spur of the moment decision you made? To throw some cranberries into my whole wheat couscous. Yeah, I'm a big time risk taker!
Movie you watched? Jarhead. Now I understand why a certain lasagna always says Hoo Rah.
Say if your best friend told you they love you? Yeah, I know.
What are you wearing? aqua blue boy briefs and a grey t-shirt
What are you thinking? Is this taking me too long? Am I gonna lose my damn dial-up connection?
What are you listening to? Ava knocking God knows what over in the living room.
Are you annoyed by the length of this survey? See... what are you thinking.
How many people in the room? Just me and my invisible lover.
Any cuts or bruises on your body? Yeah, I still have bruise on my knee from falling out of the horse pen on July 4th, cuz KOWBOIDIDN'TTELLMEWECOULDOPENTHEDAMNGATE!!!!
Are there any animals in the room? Bodhi and Veruca...maybe Ava...not sure cuz I don't hear anything breaking at the moment.
Are you eating anything? Nope.
People who I would like to do this? whatever...

Guess the Punchline...

2006-07-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Answer coming soon....

Stolen from APj

2006-07-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

OK- this is a little scary... go for it!

pick one word from each pair that you think describes Jade Ed Girl the best and leave it in the comments. Then i'll do you!! -- Your heart should be racing about now...--then copy this and post it in your own journal(if you want to do so)to see how your friends view you.

*dominant or submissive
*logical or intuitive
*social or loner
*kinky or vanilla
*cute or sophisticated
*kitten or puppy
*warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
*leader or follower
*quiet or talkative
*spontaneous or planned
*teddy bear or porcelain doll
*hiking or window shopping
*tequila or vodka
*top or bottom
*bare foot or shoes
*jeans or slacks
*tender or rough
*aware or dreamy
*nerd or jock
*brains or brawn
*common sense or book smarts
*pretty or sexy

Not too bad...

2006-07-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

Your Birthdate: January 27

You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.Helping others is also important to you. You enjoy social activities with that goal.You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return.
Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone
Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge
Your power color: Cobalt blue
Your power symbol: Dove
Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Trick Questions?

2006-07-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

Looks like I had a trick question or 2 that even APj and SSM didn't get. So here it is..

1. Jobs I’ve had in my life:a. rape crisis counselor b. caterer c. record store manager
Yep- so true... never a caterer, though I love to cook for my friends.

2. movie I'd watch over & over: a. anything Harrison Ford. b. anything Johnny Depp c. anything Keanu Reeves
Oviously there's no confusion here. Harrison who?

3. places I've lived:a. Fresno, CA b. Seattle WA c. Clovis, CA4.
OK- this was a trick question, though I thought that SSM would get it. I lived in Clovis for a few months. I actually never lived in Seattle. I lived in Lynwood, WA.

4. tv show I love/loved to watch:a. Sopranos b. Lost c. Party of Five
Guess this was hard too. Lost was an easy keeper. I don't have cable, never seen a full episode of the Sopranos. LOVED Party of Five (There seems to be a Matthew Fox theme here. But really it's all about Sawyer and Griffin.)

5. place I've been on vacation:a. Florida b. Boston c. Hawaii
Never been to Hawaii. Used to visit family in Boston and Florida

6. One of my favorite foods:a. sushi b. spaghetti c. bagel with lox cream cheese
Gosh... just because I'm Italian... I hate spaghetti!!

7. something I'd rather be doing right now:a. sleeping b. cleaning my apartment c. Johnny Depp
Too easy. I always rather be doing Johhny Depp, or sleeping so that I can dream about it.

8. Something I always/usually carry with me: a. matches b. lip balm c. dental floss
No matches, purple lighter in my left pants pocket at all times.

Playing Games with APj

2006-07-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

OK- let's see how well you know me...

1. Jobs I’ve had in my life:
a. rape crisis counselor b. caterer c. record store manager
2. movie I'd watch over & over:
a. anything Harrison Ford. b. anything Johnny Depp c. anything Keanu Reeves
3. places I've lived:
a. Fresno, CA b. Seattle WA c. Clovis, CA
4. tv show I love/loved to watch:
a. Sopranos b. Lost c. Party of Five
5. place I've been on vacation:
a. Florida b. Boston c. Hawaii
6. One of my favorite foods:
a. sushi b. spaghetti c. bagel with lox cream cheese
7. something I'd rather be doing right now:
a. sleeping b. cleaning my apartment c. Johnny Depp
8. Something I always/usually carry with me:
a. matches b. lip balm c. dental floss

State of the Union

2006-07-09T19:18:00.000-07:00

Can't seem to make myself clean my apartment. And it's dirty...really dirty, not just the usual messy. The evil Volvo is boasting a red "Check Engine" light, although she appears to be just fine. Not sure if she's crying wolf this time, but this car and I seem to have a relationship that needs to end. Where to find the money for a new(er) car? Good question. Work 40+ hours a week and still can't seem to make ends meet. Solutions... realistically... need a new better paying job or 2nd job. My Dad would help if he could, but let's face it, my Dad's plate is overflowing trying to care for my Mom, and what right have I to accept his help when I could help him by taking care of my Mom in my free time, but I don't because it makes me crazy and brings up too much unresolved childhood anger. Would leave the house and go do something (since I'm obviously not cleaning) but where to go when you're broke and the damn Check Engine light is taunting you! So I've slept, most of today. Been doing that a lot lately. Sometimes I dream I'm somewhere beautiful. Sometimes I dream I'm driving a new car. Sometimes I dream I'm in love. Sometimes I dream that my Mom can walk. Sometimes I dream about friends that I miss. Sometimes I dream that I am thin and beautiful. Sometimes I dream that I have a lovely home and people who love me in... Dreaming is good.

10

2006-06-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

Once again, APj has challenged me. So I will jump…
I hesitated to post this, because so many of them seem “negative.” But when I think of all the good things I have to say to those who are important to me, I realize that, for the most part, I have said them. I will remind myself to continue to let people in, and tell them how much they mean to me.

1. I brought you into my life when I felt so alone and suicidal. You saved me with your love and unending devotion. You asked for so little in return. You endure my abuses and bad moods. I fear I will soon and forever miss you.

2. You walked out of my life with cryptic words, so out of character I still sometimes don’t believe they came from you. After all we’d shared it nearly destroyed me. But I survived, and I am so much stronger. You will always have a place in my heart. I think of you often, and I forgive you.

3. You really don’t deserve me. But I still want you. I miss the way it felt to be with you when anything was possible.

4. I really want to be the person you need me to be, but I can’t. There is too much that was always left unsaid. So many hurts, resentments, and unmet needs. Too few memories of comfort and wisdom shared. I wish peace for you, but I also selfishly wish freedom for myself.

5. I am tired of your pain, your wasted talent and your immaturity. I can give no more until you take responsibility for yourself. I know- it sucks to have to be a grown-up, but don’t you think it’s time?

6. Every time I see you, my heart aches. You are such a beautiful and fragile soul. I want to heal all the hurts they inflicted with their ignorance and selfishness. I want to see the light behind your eyes again.

7. I love you more than any person I have ever known. From the first time I looked into your eyes. I would do anything for you. You are so precious. You are golden.

8. I wish I had been there for you in the end. I wish I had spent more time with you, and never allowed myself to become embarrassed by your exuberance and joy. I feel your presence and know you are watching over me. Thank you. I love you. I miss you.

9. You reel me in with your confidences and vulnerability. I am flattered that you trust me. I value that bond. Yet, I am tired of being everyone’s best girl, and nobody’s woman.

10. Your insecurity overwhelms and tires me. You allow yourself to wallow in hurts that were unintentional. If you truly believe that you cannot be loved the way you are right now… then maybe it’s time for change.

Oh No! Here I go again!

2006-05-24T21:55:00.002-07:00

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.
You have great vision and can be very insightful.In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsoulareyouquiz/">What Kind of Soul Are You?

Oh No! Here I go again!

2006-05-24T21:55:00.001-07:00

You Are RainYou can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.
You are best known for: your touch
Your dominant state: changing

What Type of Weather Are You?

Oh No! Here I go again!

2006-05-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.
You are best known for: your touch
Your dominant state: changing

What Type of Weather Are You?

Jade Ed's "J" List

2006-05-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

This was a lot of fun! Sometime's I forget how much I love words. Just looking through a list, so many words bring to mind memories and stories and emotions!

I’ll skip the obvious pleasures of lounging in one's jammies, Jamison’s, joints and jailbait… oh come on… you know at least one of them is, or has been, a vice for you too. And I don’t mean jailbait literally…just significantly younger…I’ll also skip the too obvious Jaded, and anyway, I’m really not… Jaded…I’m only Jade Ed.

1. Java- One of my favorite beverages. Hot, iced, however… just so long as its caffeinated. I usually prefer it in a large cup with lots of cream and no sugar, cuz I like my coffee like I like my men, tall, hot and a little bitter…

2. Jealousy- Something I must admit I suffer from. Not proud of it, but I am fond of being the favorite.

3. Je ne sais quoi- Literal translation from the French is “I know not what.” Meaning something that cannot be adequately described or expressed. I often find that my usual ability to communicate intelligently goes out the window when faced with expressing my feelings about the really important things in life, like love, faith and authenticity.

4. Juicy- There’s nothing better than something juicy… mangoes, peaches, watermelon, strawberries, a story, imagination…

5. June bug- a bug that I hate, because they are stupid and ugly and they hiss and get stuck in your hair. But, a word that makes me laugh… when I think of the way they turn Cindy into a little girl and when I think of rehearsing lines many years ago for The Real Queen of Hearts Ain’t Even Pretty with Jody Baker, Gillian Johnson and Jody Fitz, and laughing sooo hard that gin came out my nose!

6. January- Great month that produced not only myself, but also some of my favorite people. Sorry though Lecram, Houston and Kowboi, Aquarians still beat Capricorns! Kien and Joe, please back me up on that.

7. Jutting- As in hipbones…nuff said…(I think a trip to the store would be appropriate right about now!)

8. Journey- What I consider life to be, navigating through this great big beautiful mixed up world with all of my fellow beautiful mixed up souls.

9. Jukebox- One of my favorite things in the whole world. I could feed a jukebox all night long…I love to play human jukebox when friends come over, sharing songs that are meaningful to me or move me in some way. And I love it when I ask someone “What do you feel like hearing?” and I get to watch them smile when I walk over to my CD collection and put it on.

10. Jasmine- One of the best smells on the planet. Not the car air-freshener kind, but the real thing, on a warm summer breeze, wafting in through an open window…sublime.

And one more just cuz… all of the wonderful J’s in my life… my mom-Jeanne…Joel…Jayne…Joe…Jag…Julie…and, of course, Johnny Depp!

Sleep Deprivation

2006-05-21T16:01:00.000-07:00

It all started Wednesday night. After a full day of work, I went to get my hair cut, then met up with the gang at Lipari’s. I was already tired, but my hair was “perfect”… meaning it was actually styled, and that NEVER happens…and I was eager to welcome home my long lost friend… OK, so he wasn’t actually home yet… but what the hell… we had a great time. I didn’t remove any articles of clothing, nor did I see anyone else remove any. I did not get deported to another country, which I was later admonished for. Apparently “real” friends will get themselves deported for you…

So after a late night, I woke up, much too early for me, a little late for work any how. After work I checked in with Ysidro and we went to Irene’s for a bite to eat. Then went to The Review for a latte and ran into Kowboi and Rachel. Got home fairly early, but still slept through the alarm and was late for work, again.

Friday, after a much too long day of work, went to get a massage. On the way received a call from SSM on Ysidro’s cell to meet up at Lipari’s. Of course, I obliged. After all I had been celebrating his return for 2 days already, and hadn’t seen him yet! Met up with the gang again, including Lecram and APj. Had a fabulous time and the pizza was great, even if it did take FOREVER to get there. SHOULD have gone home after that. Instead went to Bobby Salazar’s. Enjoyed more libations… then went home and crashed. But at least the next day was Saturday… no work… I could get 8 hours of sleep… NOPE!

Was woken up by Ava’s favorite person, who she had to climb and cuddle and bite, all while purring very loudly… I think he just comes over to visit her…

Then got out and bought supplies for the meat burning. Had Kowboi look at my car. Glad to know she is saveable. Baked Mango Bars (which turned out yummy!) and made coconut rice with Thai sweet chili sauce. While driving to Lecram’s noticed hot guy in car behind me… he followed me all the way there. SSM now stands for Sexy Studly Monkey!!! The meat burning was fabulous! Great food, great friends, and the green fairy…

Rachel organized the purchase of not 1, but 2 bottles! She is now the Green Mistress, and is responsible for my headache today!
Had way too much fun, until way too late…

We even outlasted our host, who graciously encouraged us to continue without him just before he fell asleep.

This morning then, was Sunday. No work, no reason to get up early, finally I can catch up on that sleep!! 9:30 am the phone rings. Green Mistress entices me to rise, shower, and meet her for breakfast.

All and all, just about the best week I’ve had in a long time. Spending time with old friends, making a couple of new friends (which you KNOW I don’t do often.) It is 4 o’clock in the afternoon and this is how I feel…

Gonna go get some kip now!

Avalon

2006-05-12T11:50:00.000-07:00

This is my new baby... Avalon, or Ava for short. She joins me and my other cat, Veruca Salt, whom I often call Ruca and my old mutt of a dog Bodhi, short for Bodhisatva. My apartment is now officially at maximum capacity.

Ava, of course, came to me very ill. We almost lost her last week when her illness caused her temp to rise to 106F. Fortunately, Ava's new mom works in a pet hospital. She is now on the mend and doing great.

Veruca was none too thrilled by the addition to begin with. This morning, however, they are lying side by side, both staring longingly through the screen door to a back yard full of plants, flowers, birds and butterflies, which their mean old mama will not let them out to. As I stopped checking e-mail to watch them a moment ago, they rubbed noses and moved closer to each other. As soon as Veruca caught me watching them, she batted Ava across the face and ran off. They are back again now, side by side. Yeah, I know, Veruca has issues...

Cuz Jayne Said I Would

2006-05-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

1. When was the last time you had sex?
Less recently than Lelly, more recently than Apj… How’s that for a window?
2. How do you flush the toilet in public?
With my foot if it’s a footy one, with my hand if not… Hey, I wash my hands after!
3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
Usually…
4. Do you have a crush on someone?
Hmmm… does Rex Smith count? Ok, yeah…someone I actually know…and he knows it, but pretends he doesn’t so that he can drive me absofreakinlutely insane!
5. Name one thing that you start to get tense about if you are close to running out of it?
Marlboro’s.
6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?
That’s easy, it’s Mama Cass, but taller, and with blue eyes, and now, older.
7. What is your favorite pizza topping?
Pepperoni and Mushroom.
9. Do you crack your knuckles?
Yep, and I still have very nice fingers, thankyouverymuch.
10. What song do you hate the most when it gets stuck in your head?
Any song that’s louder than the voices is fine by me.
11. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?
What? I didn’t hear that…
12. What are your super powers?
I can make men fall asleep, no matter how bad the insomnia…really…it’s a gift….”sob”
13. What is the hardest thing you have faced?
Watching my mom’s illness destroy her and my father.
14. Where are your car keys?
In the little glass tray on the bookcase with the chapstick and lighter that also came out of the pockets of my scrubs when I got home.
15. Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?
Kien, SSM and Lecram of course… TAG!
16. What's your most annoying habit?
Smoking…or lack of self-esteem…
17. Where did you go on your last vacation?
Vacation? Haven’t had a real one of them in years! Did have a lovely long weekend at the coast (San Luis, Pismo, Morrow Bay) while Kien was here. Yes… he does travel well… and never sends back his food :)
18. If you could punch one person in the nose and get away with it who would it be?
Several members of the theater company I worked with last summer…
19. What is your best physical feature?
My eyes. On a good day I kinda like my hair too.
20. What CD is closest to you right now?
Duh?… Rex Smith…oh wait those are LPs…
21. What three things can always be found in your refrigerator?
Orange juice, organic peanut butter and too many condiments.
22. What superstition do you believe/practice?
Hmmm, well I knowingly cross the path of a black cat…every day…at least a dozen times.
25. Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?
Yes – it doesn’t work in the house…duh…and Apj is long distance.
26. What would your name have been if you'd been born the opposite gender? If you don't know what your parents would've chosen, what name would you choose for your other-gendered self?
I would have been Steven, I like the name Jonah.
27. What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?
“Hot Child in the City” or something made up to entertain the dog and cats.
28. If you could go back or forward in time would you and where would you go?
All we have is Now.
29. What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?
Don’t really like Harrison Ford, but Bladerunner was pretty good.
30. What CD is in your stereo?
6 CD changer… Kien, Jack Johnson, Rent soundtrack, Johnny Cash, Barefootim and The Lemonheads
31. What OCD qualities do you have?
God, which one’s DON’T I have?!
32. How many kids do you want to have?
I’d like to have one. Running out time….
33. If you could kiss anyone famous who would it be?
Well, if it was 1979, then Rex Smith, of course, today… Johnny Depp
34.Would you really want to kiss someone you didn't know, even if they are famous?
Hellya! I’ve kissed people I didn’t know who weren’t famous…so why not?
35. What do you do when no one is watching?
Pretty much everything, I live alone.
36. If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be the best for this job?
Lily Taylor, for obvious reasons…well obvious if you know me…well obvious if you are SSM.
37. Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
Peacefully, without knowing it was coming.
38. What candy, from when you were a kid, do you miss the most?
Bottlecaps!
39. What is your favorite kid's movie?
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang…even though it’s scary as hell.
40. Favorite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert?
Some of the best have been Chris Isaak, David Bowie, Neil Young, Dweezil Zappa, Jackson Browne, Elvis Costello, The Pixies (Yeah Lelly!) and, of course, Rick Springfield!!!
41. Have you ever been in love?
Yep. Nuff said.
42. Do you talk to yourself?
Every day.
43. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the face of the earth?
Well, I wish the current girlfriend of afore mentioned crush would win the lottery or have something equally wonderful happen to her that caused her to move far away… without the boy!

Yes, I know that 8, 23 and 24 are missing... I guess APj didn't like those questions... or maybe we should be glad she doesn't teach math!!

Crush Week in Blogland

2006-05-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

OK, so first there was Bobby Sherman ,then Donny Osmond... innocent crushes, followed by David Cassidy, Shawn Cassidy, Andy Gibb... actors are great, singers even better, but guitar playing singingactingohmygodthat hairthatsmilethoseeyeshisass inthosewranglers!!!! My ultimate teen idol who still sends me to the store in my...ahem...late thirties, and I mean handsfree shopping, yes it's that good... REX SMITH circa late 70's, early 80's. I made my first E-Bay purchase last week. I bought this movie and fortunately it arrived "Sooner" than I hoped. I've been thrown back in time...my heart throb in his prime! I have cleaned my entire apartment so that APj will loan me her record player as my reward. When it arrives I will listen to all of my coveted, well worn Rex LPs and dream some more.

This is the movie that inspired me to take guitar lessons at 13. I was even lucky enough to take them from a hot blonde 17 year old whose hair looked kinda like Rex's. Alas, he was a "good boy" and the lovely Laurie nabbed him.

It's amazing how a movie, or even an image can take ya back... and make ya smile...

Ahhh....damn he was pretty.

Copy Cat

2006-04-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

Ok- so.... I'm a Romantic Helper, which means...
I have sensitive feelings and I'm warm and perceptive.
and...
I am warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.
How to Get Along with Me
Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!
Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
Share fun times with me.
Let me know that I am important and special to you.
Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
In Intimate Relationships
Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
Reassure me often that you love me.
What I like about being me...
my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
my ability to establish warm connections with people
admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
being unique and being seen as unique by others
having aesthetic sensibilities
being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me
knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
being generous, caring, and warm
being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
having a good sense of humor
What's hard about being me...
experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
feeling guilty when I disappoint people
feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
expecting too much from myself and life
fearing being abandoned
obsessing over resentments
longing for what I don't have
not being able to say no
having low self-esteem
not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tune in to them

These things kinda blow me away... sometimes they seem soooo wrong, but others, like this one, kinda nail it.

Told ya I was bored....

2006-04-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

You Are a Black and White Cookie

You're often conflicted in life, and you feel pulled in two opposite directions.When you're good, you're sweet as sugar. And when you're bad, you're wicked!

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofcookieareyouquiz/">What Kind of Cookie Are You?

2006-04-12T20:43:00.000-07:00

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack,I've been too long, I'm glad to be back"
Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos.But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's" Your Theme Song?

tantrum

2006-04-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

I don't like being a grown-up... really, I hate it!
Taxes are making me crazy...
computer is POS...
APj out of state, so no one to play with...
boys are stupid...
dog will not detach from my feet...
self cleaning apartments do not exist...
self cleaning cat boxes are too expensive...
just watched King Kong and it's sadder than Old Yeller...
did I mention boys are stupid?
blah...blah...blah... I'm bored.

getting through

2006-04-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can."--Sydney Smith

Yesterday was my dad's 74th birthday. Today my brother and I are making dinner for him and some family.

Today I will try to remember....

I cannot make my Mom well, but I can make her smile.

I cannot take away my Dad's bitterness, but I can sweeten his day by making his favorite cake.

I cannot make my Brother let go of his pain from our childhood, but I can sit next to him at dinner and remind him that he is not alone.

Today I will do what I can... and be content with that.

In the Dark

2006-04-04T12:21:00.000-07:00

So- I seem to be having issues with light bulbs! Now the kitchen light has burned out. That makes… kitchen…hallway… front porch… and Volvo’s left head. I have electricity…I have light bulbs… I have very high ceilings and no ladder! Yeah, I know I don’t need a ladder for the Volvo… I just need a man…or a wife…

So I should be cleaning my apartment right now. Even though Kien says I don’t hafta should :)
I do have a dinner guest coming tonight, so I need to clean. Hey maybe I’ll make him climb and change light bulbs!

Of course, instead of cleaning at the mo’ I am blogging. Stole this from APj and Lelly…

Jade Ed Girl Slogans-

I’d Like to Buy the World a Jade Ed Girl
Well, I wouldn’t have to buy her, I could just give her away.

8 out of 10 Owners Who Expressed a Preference Said Their Cats Preferred Jade Ed Girl
I could use that one at work!

Mama Mia, That’s a One Spicy Jade Ed Girl!
Paying homage to my Italian roots…wait my roots are grey… Italian heritage.

Reach Out and Touch Jade Ed Girl
Hmmmmm….

Then there are these-
Give That Man a Jade Ed Girl…Reach For the Jade Ed Girl.. The Real Smell of Jade Ed Girl… Unzip a Jade Ed Girl… Obey Your Jade Ed Girl…Taste the Jade Ed Girl…Make Jade Ed Girl Yours… Can You Tell Jade Ed Girl from Butter?…There’s More Than One Way to Eat Jade Ed Girl… Any Time, Any Place, Jade Ed Girl Really Satisfies…Feel the Raw Naked Jade Ed Girl of the Road!!!! That’s Handy Harry! Stick it in the Jade Ed Girl!
??? Oh- God!! I gotta go to the store now!

But really, I like these the best-

Because Jade Ed Girl is Complicated Enough
All You need is a Jade Ed Girl and a Dream
and
Only a Fool Breaks the Jade Ed Girl

ABCs a la Nic

2006-04-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

A- Accent- I love em all. I have a habit of picking up the speech patterns of the person I am talking too. Unfortunately, they sometimes think I am mocking them. I’m not, it’s unconsious.
B- Booze of choice – Not the drinker I once was, but I still enjoy Guinness. I love Boddingtons, but it’s hard to find around here. Often default to soda water with lime.
C- Chore I hate – all of them!
D- Dog or cat – I have one of each. The cat is soooo much less trouble. Love the dog, but they are so high maintenance!
E- Essential electronics – I absolutely HAVE to have something that music comes out of. I’m pretty fond of the coffee maker too.
F- Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) – Allergic to most of the women’s stuff. I usually prefer natural oils, sandalwood, ginger and dragon’s blood is a really nice blend that Cindy invented.
G- Gold or Silver? – Silver! If it’s gold, it has to be white gold. Platinum is best!
H- Hometown – ah jeez, (mumbling) Fresno, California
I- Insomnia? – yep. Less often as I get older. I am, however, the cure for it as well, just ask any man who’s been in my bed…right off to sleep they go…
J- Job Title – well for the job that pays the rent, it’s Office Manager for Banfield, the Pet Hospital; for the job that feeds my soul, it’s Artistic and Managing Director of Jade Ed Gypsy Productions.
K- Kids? – none yet, still hoping for 1 though.
L- Living Arrangement – with a sexy black girl named Veruca and a hot older blonde named Bodhi. OK, OK… with my dog and cat.
M- Most admired trait –I don’t know if anyone admires it, but I think I am an extremely sincere person.
N- Number of Sexual Partners- hmm… 1 more than I should have.
O- Overnight Hospital Stays – 1 when I was very young, not even sure what for. None since then.
P- Phobia – Claustro
Q- Quote – “Sometimes a banana is just a banana.”
R- Religion – If I go to church, it’s Science of the Mind, not to be confused with Scientology! My philosophy is that there are many paths to God, and whichever works for you is fabulous… provided you do not obstruct or repress or belittle any one else’s path.
S- Siblings – Just one brother, but he moved out when I was 7, so I have an only child mentality goin too.
T- Time I wake up – as late as I can and still make it to work on time. As early as possible if there is somethin fun to do.
U- Unusual talent/skill – I can turn the contents of nearly anyone’s fridge and pantry into a gourmet meal.
V- Vegetable I refuse to eat – I like all veggies.
W- Worst habit – smoking
X- X-rays – usually take my own at work, saves money.
Y- Yummy foods I make – authentic Cocktail de Camaron is one of my favs. My Aztec Brownies are very popular.
Z- Zodiac sign –Aquarius, of course.

Tamed

2006-03-30T19:52:00.000-08:00

The fox gazed at the little prince for a long time.
“Please – tame me!” he said.
“I want to, very much,” the little prince replied.
“But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand.”
“One only understands the things that one tames,” said the fox.
“Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things already made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends anymore. If you want a friend, tame me…”
“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.
“You must be very patient,” replied the fox.
“First you will sit down at a little distance from me—like that—in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day…”

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near—
“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”
“It is your own fault,” said the little prince.
“I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you…”
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“But now you are going to cry!” said the little prince.
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox…

One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed…

I am a CONSIDERATE CREATOR

2006-03-23T18:15:00.000-08:00

Cute little multi-colored thingy goes here, however, not, apparently if you are me....

You are a Creator

Defying convention, you are very innovative, and you have a vivid imagination.
The look of things is important to you, and you have a keen eye for aesthetic beauty in multiple arenas.
You have a strong interest in what is new and exciting—and that includes forging ahead with new ideas, not simply discovering what is already out there.
You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options.
You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.
You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.
You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

You are Considerate

You trust others, care about them, and are slow to judge them, making you CONSIDERATE.
You value your close relationships very much, and are more likely to spend time in small, tightly-knit groups of friends than in large crowds.
You enjoy exploring the world through observation, quietly watching others.
Relating to others so well, and understanding their emotions, leads you to trust people in general, even though you're somewhat shy and reserved at times.
Your belief that people are generally well-intentioned contributes to your sympathy regarding their problems.
Although you may not vocalize it often, you have an awareness of how society affects individuals, and you understand complex causes of people's behavior.
You like to look at all sides of a situation before making a judgment, particularly when that situation involves important things in other people's lives.
Your close friends know you as a good listener.

At it again

2005-11-16T20:25:00.000-08:00

Dang it you guys- you know I can't control myself:)

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times.Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness!
Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Friendly Herbalist.
Where You Lived: Scotland.
How You Died: Natural causes.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

What's the difference between a friendly herbalist and a drug dealer?

Lasagna

2005-11-16T17:22:00.000-08:00

So there’s this new restaurant in your neighborhood. You walk by it every day. It’s looks like a decent place and as you pass by, you wonder if you should try it out. One day while walking by you decide to check out the menu. There are several items that appeal to you, so you stop in for dinner. You order the grilled chicken, but the waiter tells you that the special today is lasagna. You say you’ll stick with the chicken, but the waiter insists that this is the best lasagna you’ve ever tasted and you really must try it. Again, you decline and order the chicken. The chicken is pretty damn tasty. So tasty that you return to the restaurant again, soon.

On your second visit, the waiter again recommends the lasagna. Again, you decline. “Lasagna is too rich,” you proclaim, “I’ll have the salmon.”

Third visit, same routine.

Fourth visit, you relent. The lasagna smells really good, and you do love lasagna, so what the hell- you order the lasagna. And…it…is…fabulous!

So fabulous that you return the next week, and order it again. It’s even better than you remembered.

So of course, next week, you go again. You order lasagna…yum…can’t wait…BUT- there is no lasagna today. Disappointed, you order the grilled chicken. It’s still pretty damn tasty. But it is…not…lasagna…

Next trip to the restaurant, still no lasagna. The grilled chicken is good, but, of course, it isn’t lasagna. You ask when lasagna is going to return to the menu. You chastise the waiter for getting you hooked on it. If he’d never made you try the lasagna, you’d be perfectly happy with the chicken. But after that lasagna…you feel…unsatisfied. The waiter responds “What lasagna?” “Excuse me?” you look around the place. Have you entered the wrong restaurant? You check the waiter’s name badge. Is this a new waiter who just looks like the other one? The other waiter who tempted you with lasagna and now denies it? No, same place, same waiter, same grilled chicken. The lasagna however has mysteriously disappeared and apparently is not to be spoken of.

Hmmm? You like the restaurant. You like the grilled chicken. You want the lasagna. Do you keep going to the restaurant? I mean the lasagna may come back, right? You’d miss the grilled chicken. It was damn good lasagna….

For Your Eyes Only

2005-11-13T10:21:00.000-08:00

Scene Three

(Daniel enters, with Zoe trailing behind. He immediately goes into the tent and comes out with a traveling alarm clock. )

Zoe:
I knew it. You just couldn’t stand it could you? You had to know what time it is.

Daniel:
If you hadn’t thrown my watch into the lake…

Zoe:
I did not throw it into the lake.

Daniel:
You did.

Zoe:
No, I threw it at a water moccasin.

Daniel:
You threw it at a stick that was floating in the lake.

Zoe:
Well I thought it was a water moccasin.

Daniel:
It wasn’t.

Zoe:
I realize that now, but at the time I thought it was a water moccasin.

Daniel:
And throwing my watch at it was going to do what exactly?

Zoe:
Keep it away.

Daniel:
You didn’t even hit it.

Zoe:
The water moccasin?

Daniel:
The stick! It was a floating stick! There was no water moccasin!

Zoe:
Fine. I’ll buy you a new watch when we get home.

Daniel:
What am I supposed to do until then?

Zoe:
Why does it matter what time it is? Here we are out in the woods for three days. Just the two of us, camping out and trying to decide where to scatter Evan’s ashes. What the fuck difference does it make what time it is?

Daniel:
It doesn’t really make any difference, I guess.

Zoe:
Right.

Daniel:
(Looking at the clock.) Well, it’s late.

Zoe:
Daniel, you make me insane.

Daniel:
Don’t blame that on me.

Zoe:
A lot of it I do.

Daniel:
That’s not fair.

Zoe:
So? You’ve been driving me crazy my entire adult life.

Daniel:
That’s why we shouldn’t be together.

Zoe:
Because you drive me crazy?

Daniel:
Because you are crazy. My grandfather once told me never to lie with a woman who was crazier than me.

Zoe:
I’m not crazier than you. And it’s too late for that advice now isn’t it?

Daniel:
(Daniel checks the clock. Zoe “huffs” at him and points at the tent. Daniel crosses to tent and places alarm clock inside.)
Everyone makes mistakes.

Zoe:
Yeah. Wait…is that what I am to you? A mistake?

Daniel:
I didn’t mean it like that. Look Zoe, I’m tired. And like you said, we came up here to scatter Evan’s ashes. Can we just let it go for now?

Zoe:
Yeah.

Daniel:
Too bad we didn’t catch any fish today.

Zoe:
Yeah.

Daniel:
Yeah.

Zoe:
I wish Evan was here.

Daniel:
Well, he is in a way. (Zoe shoots him a puzzled look.) No, I don’t mean just his ashes.

Zoe:
We made out once you know.

Daniel:
You and Evan?

Zoe:
Yes.

Daniel:
And by “made out” you mean…?

Zoe:
Fuck you Daniel. The standard definition.

Daniel:
I wonder if it’s in Webster’s…

Zoe:
Daniel.

Daniel:
OK. I ‘m done. How come I never knew about it? You and Evan are both crap at keeping secrets.

Zoe:
It wasn’t a secret. And I don’t tell you everything.

Daniel:
You used to tell me everything. When did this supposed kiss take place?

Zoe:
Supposed? Ok- if you must know, it was on that Seattle trip.

Daniel:
The Seattle trip? Where was I?

Zoe:
I don’t know, getting drinks, playing the jukebox, taking a piss.

Daniel:
So this happened in a bar?

Zoe:
Where else did we go? I mean do you even remember the Seattle trip?

Daniel:
Well, vaguely. But I guess that proves your point. Wait, this was the day of the dive bar tour of Seattle with Beth wasn’t it?

Zoe:
Um hm. We were in the back room of that last bar. Remember the one right by Pike Place Market? Where Evan kept trying to catch the damn fish flying overhead. And the two kids that worked there were laughing their asses off playing keep away from the drunk guy with slabs of salmon. Well the next place we went to had that tiny little back room behind the bar. It was all dark and smoky, cuz you can still smoke in bars in Seattle. There was no one in there but the four of us and that old bald guy who kept trying to buy us drinks and look down my shirt. And I’m not really sure how it happened. He just started kissing me. And I asked him why he had waited so damn long to do that. I don’t think he ever answered me. I didn’t really care at the time.

Daniel:
And then what happened?

Zoe:
Nothing. That was it.

Daniel:
So you had the hots for this guy since I introduced you to him, which was like four years
before this road trip. You finally have him drunk in a bar, making out with you and that’s
it?

Zoe:
Yep

Daniel:
That’s so you Zoe. I swear to god you’re the only women I’ve ever known who can crawl into bed with a naked guy and just curl up and go to sleep.

Zoe:
It’s not my fault. I’m just not fuckable!

Daniel:
All women are fuckable.

Zoe:
I’m not.

Daniel:
You’re just not fuck-over-able, Zoe. You wouldn’t want to be.

Zoe:
That makes no sense whatsoever.

Daniel:
Yeah, it does. You know you always get yourself trapped in the “friend zone.” You meet a guy you’re interested in and you “befriend” him. You bring him into the group, make him feel welcome. All the while you’re harboring these sexual feelings that you pretend you don’t have. And if the guy should flirt with you, you back off, make it look like you’re not interested so you can stay safe. And you daydream about the future, when this friendship will “blossom” into a romance. And, pretty soon he’s fucking one of your friends, cuz lets face you’ve got some hot friends, and they aren’t afraid to present themselves as women first and “kindred souls” second, if at all. Then you’re all heart broken and betrayed. And you walk away thinking there’s something wrong with you and feeling sorry for yourself. It’s a pattern Zoe. It’s how you operate.

Zoe:
But I keep those guys in my life. I don’t go through them like water.

Daniel:
Like other women do?

Zoe:
Well, yeah. I don’t wanna burn my bridges.

Daniel:
You don’t get close enough to even cross your bridges, let alone burn them. You’ve gotta step up to the plate as a woman. Take a chance… get shot down… join the real world. We aren’t 18 anymore. This coy shit isn’t working for you.

Zoe:
I don’t know how to do that. It seems forced. I mean if I meet someone that I feel a connection with, what’s wrong with just being open to the possibilities instead of trying to “hook up?”

Daniel:
Nothing. If you’re actually open.

Zoe:
I’m open

Daniel:
You are so not open. You’re too scared.

Zoe:
I’m scared? Aren’t you the guy who prefers to not get too involved with the women he’s involved with?

Daniel:
That’s different.

Zoe:
How is it different? You have women that you care about deeply, then you have women that you sleep with. Neither one of us is regularly having sex with any one that we really care about.

Daniel:
At least I’m having sex.

Zoe:
At least I let people know me.

Daniel:
But you won’t let them touch you.

Zoe:
I let people touch me Daniel.

Daniel:
I don’t count.

Zoe:
You don’t have to tell me that.

Daniel:
Fuck you Zoe! I’m tired of this shit. You want to sit here and tell me how to have a relationship when you don’t know the first thing about relationships between men and women. And we are MEN Zoe. Not boys. “Oh Daniel, I met this cute boy..” Grow up Zoe. This is it. This is your life right now. It isn’t going to start when you meet the right guy, or find a better apartment. This is it. Oh forget it! Coming up here was a bad idea.

Zoe:
This was Evan’s favorite spot.

Daniel:
Evan isn’t with us.

(They pause as the reality of the line sinks in.)

Zoe:
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to piss you off. I’m sorry Danny. Sit back down.

Daniel:
I don’t want to sit down Zoe.

Zoe:
Fine. Don’t then.

Daniel:
I’m not going to.

Zoe:
I don’t care.

Daniel:
Yes you do.

Zoe:
Don’t tell me what I care about.

Daniel:
Don’t tell me you don’t care what I do. You evaluate every word I say and every move I make.

Zoe:
No I don’t. My world doesn’t revolve around you.

Daniel:
I know. The entire world revolves around you. You keep a running total of how much you’re getting. So what’s the score now Zoe?

Zoe:
What does that mean?

Daniel:
What is the score? How many points do you have?

Zoe:
What the hell are you talking about?

Daniel:
Aren’t you doing the math Zoe? Haven’t you calculated exactly where things stand between us at this very moment? How many things have I said that mean I care about “us” and how many that make me a cold-hearted bastard? Huh? How many?

Zoe:
What is wrong with you?

Daniel:
Nothing is wrong with me. I’m just tired of having every move I make evaluated. You are always keeping score. Some moves aren’t part of the game. Sometimes I do things because of who I am. Just me. Not me in relationship to you. Not every thing everyone says or does is a reflection of how much value you have at that moment.

Zoe:
I know that.

Daniel:
I don’t think you do. How many times have we been some where and you’ve gotten pissed off because I spent fifteen minutes talking to someone else and only fourteen minutes talking to you?

Zoe:
That’s ridiculous.

Daniel:
I know. It’s ridiculous and it’s true. How can you at the same time be so insecure and so egotistical?

Zoe:
I’m not egotistical. I think you’re projecting.

Daniel:
I am not projecting! I am calling your attention to a simple fact. You always have to have the edge.

Zoe:
What edge is that?

Daniel:
You always have to be the favorite.

Zoe:
I do not.

Daniel:
Yes, you do. Everyone’s Best Girl Zoe. It’s how you identify yourself. You’re so busy worrying about what happened ten minutes ago, or ten years ago. Keeping track of everything, dissecting, evaluating. You must be exhausted. Give it a break Zoe.

Zoe:
There is nothing wrong with being analytical.

Daniel:
There is when you miss out on what’s happening in the moment.

Zoe:
Oh, and you’re so free in the moment? You are constantly thinking about what happens next. What time is it? What are my options? Always have to keep those options open don’t ya Daniel?

Daniel:
What does that mean?

Zoe:
You can never make a decision. And forget about a commitment.

Daniel:
I can’t make a commitment? I got married didn’t I?

Zoe:
And how’d that work out for ya?

Daniel:
That’s it Zoe. This conversation is over.

Zoe:
You can rummage around in all my baggage, but yours is off limits?

Daniel:
I’m done for tonight Zoe.

Zoe:
So you’re just gonna shut down on me now? (He just stares at her.) Fine. That’s just great Daniel. Fabulous.

(Zoe stalks off into the tent. After a moment Daniel turns to follow her. His sleeping bag comes flying out of the tent. Daniel rolls out his bag. Daniel’s clock flies out of the tent. Daniel checks his clock, and settles in.)

(Lights fade out)

Sing it like you mean it.

2005-11-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

Last week at work was hell. So on Friday night I decided that karaoke was called for. I phoned my favorite karaoke buddies, Jag and the other J guy and made plans. Now, you need to understand that this is a fairly recent pleasure for me. The first time I sang karaoke I was so scared I sang facing the rear monitor with my back to the audience, hands shaking in the grip of a powerful fear. This went on for some time. It had been a long time since I sang in public. In high-school I never got cast in the musicals which led me to believe that I cannot sing. Looking back, I think it was more that I can't dance, and I was competing against Audra McDonald who has since won 3 (4, 5?) Tony's on Broadway.
Anyway, Tokyo Gardens ain't broadway and those giant Saporos and couple of good men go along way to relaxing a girl. I think I sang 11 songs! The songs I remember singing are:
My staples: *Tracy Chapman's "Gimme One Reason." *Nick Gilder's "Hot Child in the City." Back up vocals (pleeeeease, pleeeeeease:) for the other J guy on *Stealers Wheels' "Stuck in the Middle with You." *Lynard Skynard's "Sweet Home Alabama." *REO Speedwagon's "Take it on the Run."
Some new ones: *Semi-sonic's "Secret Smile"- that is one boring karaoke song, won't try that again. *The Police's "De Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Da" *The Beatle's "Let it Be"- with my friend Cynthia who showed up late into the night. *Quarter Flash's "Harden my Heart."
And 2 requests- *Pat Benetar's "Love is a Battlefield" (Yeah, it sure as hell is.) and *Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide."
My head was achin' at work on Saturday morning, but it was worth it, cuz' Damn that was fun!
So what do you all like to sing for karaoke, if you dare?

???

2005-11-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results; What is doing everything differently and still getting the same result?

Does this mean I'm in the mush pot?

2005-10-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like I’m “It” as everyone else has already been tagged. So I think I’ll do it backwards.

5 Toys: 1. …..Oh, my God… I have no toys. Really, no toys at all…not even… oh, well, I might have a toy or two, but I can’t tell you about them… Let’s move on, shall we?

5 Greatest Joys: 1. Bodhi 2. Veruca 3. my nephew Marc 4. theater 5. my friends.

5 Favorite TV Shows: 1. Alias (and yes Apj, I will quit watching if Michael is really dead) 2. Lost, OK those are the only 2 shows I watch regularly. 3. I did catch that “Danny Bonaduce is having a breakdown reality show” and must admit I was glued to the TV for 2 hours. Probably because I find men who are emotionally unstable addicts with anger management issues appealing, but that’s another story.

5 Things I’d never wear: 1. a bikini 2. stilettos (yes Kien, we have that in common) 3. a fur coat 4. anything yellow 5. some else’s underwear.

5 places I’d run away to: 1. Seattle 2. Ireland 3. Boston 4. Italy and 5. the town in France where Johnny Depp lives.

5 things I’d do with $100,000,000.00: 1. buy homes for family, friends and self. 2. have all friends and some family quit jobs and travel all over the world with me. 3. Open lot’s of no- kill animal shelters. 4. Donate to brain disease research and 5. buy a 1968 Thunderbird convertible and have it painted aqua blue.

5 snacks: 1. celery and organic peanut butter. 2. popcorn with butter, garlic and parmesan cheese. 3. Trader Joe’s Ginger Cream Jo-Jos. 4. pecans. 5. Ben-n-Jerry’s.

5 Songs I know all the words to: 1. “This Monkey’s Gone to Heaven” by the Pixies, 2. “Hot Child in the City” by Nick Gilder. 3. “Gimme One Reason” by Tracy Chapman. 4. “ Demon’s Door” (OK, you know I love this song) by Kien Lim and 5. pretty much anything that Rick Springfield ever sang. (Yes, I know. I have issues.)

Yesterday:
I worked a few hours in the morning, doing payroll and scheduling, boring, boring, boring. I came home and took a nap as the night before was a late one and very emotionally draining. Then woke up and decided to put my pain to work for me. Set up my computer, finally, and made some changes to the script I’m working on for this year’s Rogue Festival. Then I went to dinner with APj- and yes I ate the food that was touching first :) APj came back to my apartment (that no other humans live in, yeah…) and had a spot of tea while she read my draft and gave me some feedback. Then I stayed up way too late playing around on line.

1 Year Ago:
I was working at the pet hospital where I am still currently employed. I was living with 3 roommates, 2 dogs and 4 cats at the Weldon house, which SSM affectionately dubbed “The Estrogen Pad.” Coming to terms with my mom’s illness ( and no, I’m still not there yet.)

5 Years Ago:
I was living (just me and Bodhi) in a fabulous condo downtown; 2 stories 2 giant bedrooms, 2 ½ baths- one with a sunken tub, garage, balcony and patio (Only $25 a month more than the rent on my current, little 1 BR, 1 BA) Having a fabulous time playing with a Navy boy 10 years younger than me who lived in San Diego. Working at Rape Counseling Service as a grant writer/ manager and crisis intervention advocate/ counselor. And missing SSM, cuz he was living in Washington and I HATE IT when SSM lives in Washington!

10 Years Ago:
Ahh, these were good times… I think… well, what I can remember. Working as a record store manager, listening to music, going to concerts… hmm- I guess I’ll finish this thought with another little bit of my play:

Daniel:
(Laughing) Remember the chocolate chip cookies?

Zoe:
Which chocolate chip cookies?

Daniel:
The chocolate chip cookies. At the Dead concert.

Zoe:
Oh, those cookies.

Daniel:
You and Evan drank an entire bottle of Captain Morgan in the car on the way to Mountain View.

Zoe:
You helped.

Daniel:
Not much. Any way, half way through the opening act we were all pretty buzzed. And you sent us off to find some pot.

Zoe:
Yeah and I was pretty disappointed when you got back and all you had was chocolate chip cookies.

Daniel:
So you take one bite, look at Evan with your nose all turned up, and say, “this tastes terrible, I don’t want it.”

Zoe:
And Evan ate his cookie and all but one bite of mine.

Daniel:
Forty-five minutes later Evan and I are completely baked, and you get pissed cuz you think we found some pot and smoked it before we came back to our seats.

Zoe:
Neither one of you ever said that they were “special” cookies.

Daniel:
We thought you knew.

Back and Blue

2005-10-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

Ok- So I am truly back, on my own computer, in my own home. It's been a helluva ride these past few weeks. I'm battered, I'm blue, but I'm still standin'.

“Blood and Condoms”, or “How I Spent My Summer Vacation”

2005-09-29T22:24:00.000-07:00

“Ahh,, ummm…really, M’am, the lubricated are much more…ahh,…ummmm…comfortable.”
“Joe” I say into my cell phone, “Kyle says the lubricated are much more comfortable.”
Sighing with exasperation Joe proclaims “Tell Kyle that I don’t care about comfort, I like it rough and there’s going to be a lot of blood.”
I smile sweetly at Kyle and say “We really do need them un-lubricated.”
“Um…Ok… well, we only have, um… lubricated.” Kyle stutters, blushing madly.
“Joe, dear, they don’t have any un-lubricated ones. --Yes, I understand, you’re not flexible on this. --I’ll keep looking. --Talk to you soon. --Yes, I know, you better love me after this. See you tonight.”
I started to walk away from the counter, and Kyle, the Assistant Manager entitled with the awesome responsibility of condom counter key holder, calls me back. “M’am, um…how many do you need?”
“Well, I need a lot of them.” I reply.
“Uhhh…well…” he lowers his voice “I think you can get three of them at 7-11.”
“Oh. Great. Thanks” I exclaim, “that’ll get us through tonight.”

Ok, Ok… Airplane Jayne loves this story. And I know what you’re all thinking. But really it was quite innocent. You see, it was opening night of “Romeo and Juliet.” I had called The Director and asked if he had picked up the blood for Tybalt’s death scene. He hadn’t. He wasn’t planning on it. I knew that this amounted to a very serious Bear Poking violation. The fight choreographer, Joe, had been very patient. Well, as patient as is possible for Joe, aka “The Bear.” So I told The Director, “Fine, I’ll get the blood.”

So I went to the “Blood Store.” There were several options, so I called Joe and asked which one to get. With his help I found a small tube that was acceptable and left the store.
“OK, I’ve got your blood. I’m gonna go home and get ready. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Wait!” says Joe, “You have to get the condoms too.”
“Joe…..I refuse to buy condoms for a man I am not sleeping with.”
“But, I have to have the condoms for the blood packs, or when my throat gets slit, there will be no blood”
“Fine, I’ll buy the damn condoms, but you have to tell me that you love me first.” “I love you with all my heart.”
“Ok, I’ll buy the condoms. See you tonight.”

I get in the car and my phone rings. It’s Joe, of course. “Do you know what kind of condoms to get?”
“Well, I’m assuming un-lubricated is best.”
“Oh God Girl- I really do love you for knowing that.”

Small tube of water-washable blood (enough for 1 weekend)… $2.99
36 pack of Un-lubricated Trojans (The red box)… $24.95
Knowing what kind of condoms will make a man happy… Priceless

What the??!!

2005-08-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, some how, SSM, we have managed to merge Cindy and Vert and lose The Captain. Also, when I went to my template to fix it (while I still remember how) that portion is missing entirely. Veddy strange... any suggestions?

Adventures of Buck- Part 5

2005-08-05T21:15:00.000-07:00

The novelty has worn off. The globes, I believe they are named Bambi and Thumper (I don't know which is which) are suffocating me. It's damp in here, and too damned hot! It's crowded too. There are at least a dozen others. Bill is quite friendly but there's this odd chap, round and heavy with a british accent rubbing up against me. He seems quite lost. I'm feeling claustrophobic... and the globes keep moving... and shaking... I'm beginning to feel ill. Then suddenly...
We are all released and fall tumbling to the floor, landing on top of each other in a soft, damp, red lace bed. I'm on top of the heap and thankful to be facing up til the british chap bounces off my nose. He spins off away from us on the hardwood floor, nearly falling down the stairs before he is stopped by a soft black paw. He is batted about the floor, becomes airborn and lands, of course, on my nose again, before bouncing off under the bed.
It's very dark now, and quiet. The fan above is stirring us gently and I drift off... I dream that I'm in Johnny Depp's pocket. It warm and... wait... yes, there's a small hole here. I press my eye to it... he's a commando man! I dream I am going to the store.

Like a Virgin

2005-07-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

Alas, (whatta ya expect? I'm eating and breathing Shakespeare?) I think I'll not be losing my fringinity this year. With moving in three weeks, and Rogue apps pending, time and $ are just too tight. Hopefully next year.

Providence, Fate and Serendipity

2005-07-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

I decided it's time for me to live on my own again. No more roommates. Just me, Bodhi and Veruca. I was having a hard time finding a place that I can afford that also meets my requirements.
Monday at work, a client I always liked, but haven't seen in about a year stopped by to buy something. I remembered that he lived on the same street as me and for some reason asked if he still did. He replied that yes, he did, and asked if I still lived on Weldon as well. I said that I did, but was looking to move into my own place. He became very excited and said the the guy who lives in the other half of his duplex is moving out and it hadn't been advertised yet. He gave me the owner's phone #.
I called the owner, and whatta ya know, he's also a client I haven't seen in while who always liked me. He said the current renter was giving him a hard time and perhaps it would be better if I called him to see if he would show me the apartment. He didn't expect he would agree. I called the current renter, and yup, another client, who also always liked me. I saw the apartment that night.
List of requirements.
Not upstairs- check
No one upstairs of me- check
Nice yard in back for Bodhi- check
Good area (Tower of course)- check
Pet's Ok- check
Rent not too high- check
I wrote the check yesterday. I move in August 19th.
Happy camper? - check.

Excuses, excuses

2005-07-22T18:12:00.000-07:00

1. The roomate I share a phone line with with only "allow" me to go on line when she's at work.
2. During extented internet absense while said roomie has not left the bloody house, computer decided internet access is no longer possible, can't figure out why. Now using "good" roomates computer.
3. Shakespeare in the Park Rehearsals 4 nights a week.
4. Apartment hunting.
5. Damn that Harry Potter!! Almost finished:)

Miss you all!!

Needlepoint

2005-07-16T21:41:00.000-07:00

I'm craaaving INK...
The hummmm of the gun...
Painful pleasure...
Hibiscus between the blades...
or NOW on the pulse of the wrist?...

Book Report

2005-07-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on “Oneness” from Everyday Suchness by Gyomay M. Kubose

“Oneness does not mean that all become one and the same. The recognition of difference is oneness. One is many and many is one. Equality means difference and difference is equality. Everyone is unique in himself, and this uniqueness makes the world interesting. In being unique, there is untold respect for others’ uniqueness. Only when one really respects and honors himself, can he respect others. Each one should be as perfect as he himself can be. Each person should be the finest that he himself is- without comparison with others.
A beautiful symphony is possible because of the different instruments. A garden is beautiful because of the different flowers, shrubs, trees, and rocks. Man and woman harmonize because they are different. Assimilation is not forgetting or losing the uniqueness of individuals, but it is a recognition and understanding of others, harmonizing with them. Democracy is lived well when each person understands and recognizes the rights of others and respects others.
Willows are green and flowers are red. Willows are beautiful in their greenness and red flowers are beautiful as red flowers.”

Wishing you all “Oneness” in this crazy, mixed up, beautiful world.

Green Day

2005-07-02T02:11:00.000-07:00

Long day of work, work, work.
Was planning on long evening of rest, rest, rest.
Received call to commune with The Green Fairy.
Unable to resist.
Long night of ponder, ponder, ponder, chat, chat, chat
:)

Oh, No!

2005-06-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

I was playing with my blog color, and I've lost all my links! I feel so disconnected. Help, Lecram, Help!

Ob...sess...ive...

2005-06-25T19:31:00.000-07:00

So I jumped to the IQ test link from Lecram’s blog. No I didn’t take that test. Yes, I know what my IQ is and no, I’m not telling. But, I became lost in the land of frivolous quizzes and such. Yes, I am easily addicted. And I learned so much-
*I have a 14% chance of going to Hell for my sins of Envy, Lust and Sloth. I will die a boring death and while dying be jealous of those who die dramatic deaths.
*I am attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled and free.
*I have Zero Risk of cheating.
*I am a giver and protector who is unimpressed by authority and rules.
*My dominant thinking style is Exploratory.
*I will live to be 85.
*I am 90% Right Brained.
*My rejected Crayola color is “Tin Man’s Johnson Silver.”
*I am a realistic romantic, which still makes me 70% more romantic than the rest of the population.
*I am a good friend, a prophet soul and I have fantastic Karma.
*I should be living in San Francisco, in 1966.
*I am 40% “Normal” and have a little of my “freak” goin on.
*I am 75% Liberal, when it comes to Ethics, 100% Liberal.
*I am 90% Psychic
*My Inner European is Italian. (Well, duh, so is my Outer European)
*My passion is pink.
*I am broadminded, tolerant and generous. I use persuasion instead of force. I am sensitive to others.
*I am a total spark plug whose truly unforgettable kisses can knock anyone’s socks off, and are bound to get me in trouble. ( This is actually true.)
*My “Love Type” is the Artist and Idealist.
*My ideal pick-up line is “ Hey… I might not be the cutest one here… but I am the only one talking to you.”
*My geek profile is low.
*I am a Very Gay Winnie the Pooh.
*You may now refer to me as Eva Dillon, Kaliana Ambrosio, Makiko Hayashi, Dona Erindira, Mango Anthony, Agapa Seattle, Kitten Roosevelt or The Contemplative Kiwi. Unless you are referring to my boobs, which now answer to “Bambi” and “Thumper” respectively. (I am not sure which is which) There was also a reference to “Velvet Love Pocket”- not sure where that could be.
Oh yeah- and Ozzy Osbourne is my Daddy:)

Ambivalence is Bliss

2005-06-20T17:18:00.000-07:00

Officially got the promotion/raise today. I hate being management, yet I always seem to end up there, Hmmm...

Note from the Pussy

2005-06-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

And a gutter runs through it... It's not that kind of story. My lovely black kit Veruca has repeatedly jumped on the keyboard tonight. Thought I'd walk away and let her have her say...

Veruca's Diary, Day 623 of my captivity:
My captor continues to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. She dines lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captor by weaving around her feet while she was walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse my vile oppressor, I again induced myself to vomit on her favorite chair, must try this on her bed.
Decapitated a june bug and brought her the still twitching body, in an attempt to make her aware of what I am capable of, and to strike fear in her heart. She only cooed about what a good little bug catcher I was. Hmmmm, not working according to plan.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. Dog is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, must be an informant, it speaks with her regularly. I am sure he reports on my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....

Don't Ask

2005-06-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

Does this mean anything to anyone?- "There's this empty, gravely land named Kai Slant."????

Update

2005-06-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I met with the our Field Director and things are looking good. Right now I am "acting" Hospital Manager. Good thing I've a theatre background, eh? If plans go as discussed everything should be worked out quite soon. I may actually be able to afford to live in this crazy town, where costs are so rapidly rising. Not like I 'd go anywhere else. This is home, and I actually LIKE Fresno. But then again, as I always say, I don't live in Fresno, I live in The Tower:)

Get blogged

2005-06-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking- why doesn't Theramin Man have a blog of his own? It's summer. School is out. Must have a bit of free time on his hands. Watching Hammer films is a sure sign of too much time. I humbly request the pleasure of blog-jumping to a Kingsburg based blog. All those in favor...

Wonderland

2005-06-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

As someone in Wonderland said to Alice, it's best to try to believe at least three impossible things before breakfast. The funny thing is once you let yourself believe them, they don't seem all that impossible to begin with. The first step is to let yourself believe that such benevolence is in store for you. So go ahead -- what are three wonderful, lovely and no-way-that-could-happen-to-me things that you want in your life?
Healthy, happy loved ones.
A place to truly call "home."
Someone to share it with.
And you?

Nickety Splickets Series of (Possibly) Fortunate Events

2005-06-02T22:44:00.000-07:00

Due to a strange twist in the cosmos, the company from which I was so recently a breathe away from being fired, may offer me a promotion next week. Both of our Doctors recently quit. We have been making do with relief Docs all month. Two weeks ago our Hospital Director put in her notice, then went on vacation. Big wig above her went on vacation the next day, not due to return until HD's last day. So- here we are last week, all of us minions, with no leader, no schedule, no idea what is going on. Do we show up for work? Are we all fired? What to do? Well, I called the company "care line"- they didn't care. The next level big wig?- No response. Kept going until I reached the VP of the chain. He hooked me up with Kurt, our "advisor." Kurt promtly put me in charge until something could be worked out. I booked us a few Dr days, scheduled the staff and dealt with a bunch of pissed off clients. (No, I did not threaten to kick any of their asses:) Big Wig came back from Holiday today and scheduled a meeting with me next week to discuss promotion to Hospital Manager. Karma? We'll see?

Oh my, life is hard.

2005-05-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

OK, so I've been doing theatre for over 20 years now. Acting, directing, producing, stage managing, scenery, costumes, you name it. I've loved every minute of it. BUT- my current theatrical endevour has to be the WORST ever! I have to spend three nights a week "supervising" the combat coordinator and three other guys while they run around and pretend to pummel the daylights out of each other. None of them are hard on the eyes. The combat coordinator is supposedly "difficult" which I suppose is why this is my detail. I have learned through my work with animals (and actors) that it is never a good idea to poke the bear. So far afore mentioned bear is mostly of the teddy variety. Woa is me, whatever shall I do? How ever will I shoulder the burden of this company of men?

Justified?

2005-05-09T10:14:00.000-07:00

So it happened like this. I'm at work on Friday, and go to visit the loo. Another co-worker is in there as well. A woman enters with a crying child. Co-worker exits. Woman apparently does not know I am there and begins to beat the child. Child is pleading "please don't beat me again" and I can hear this woman wailing on the kid. I quickly come out of the stall, surprising this woman who has her arm drawn back, hand in a fist. Without thinking I say, in a surprisingly calm voice, "Hit this child again, and I will kick your ass." I then turned my back on her and proceeded to wash my hands. She says "I'm just disciplining him." to which I reply, "That is not discipline, it's abuse and it's unacceptable." I dry my hands and exit the loo.
I'm pretty shook up, cuz this kid broke my heart. And I've just both honored and violated my own code of ethics. Honored, because I believe that protecting children is the responsibilty of every human being on the planet. Violated, because I am truly a pacifist and using violence or even the threat of violence is not who I am. Conundrum.
This woman has the audacity to complain about me to my supervisor, the manager of the pet store my hospital is in and the corporate offices of both businesses.
I find out tomorrow if I will be written up, suspended or terminated for my actions. The only certain thing is that I will be punished.
I figure either way, something good has to come of this, right? It can't be a karma strike against me.
I may soon be joining the ranks of the unemployed, but hey that'll make four of us, won't it. At least I'll be in good company. Deserted island anyone?

Sidewaste

2005-05-03T11:57:00.000-07:00

Finally saw the film "Sideways" yesterday. Cannot for the life of me understand why this film was so well received. The clerk at Blockbuster could not believe that I didn't care for it. She said I was the first person to dislike it. I asked why it appealed to her, to which she responded: "It's like real... that's the way men are." Wow. I am definately not worthy of the Jade Ed title. I don't believe that all, or even most, men are that shallow, self-centered and down-right ridiculous. Nor do I believe that we women are so desperate as to seek a connection with men who have no apparent redeeming qualities. Whatta you all think?

Just for Fun

2005-04-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

Desert Island Discs:
You have the foresight to know that you will soon soon be stranded on a deserted island. Which 10 Cds will you bring with you? The rules are: No Greatest Hits albums, No Compilations: GO!
My picks: (in no particular order)
Mazzy Star- So Tonight that I Might See
Indigo Girls- Indigo Girls
Radiohead- The Bends
David Sylvian- Secrets from the Beehive
Lloyd Cole- Rattlesnakes
Cowboy Junkies- Trinity Session
AC/DC- Back in Black
Pearl Jam- 10
David Bowie- Ziggy Stardust
Jimi Hendrix- Axis, Bold as Love
I know,it's damn hard, I've already thouht of 10 others I CANNOT LIVE without! And of course I reserve the right to update my list in May. Or perhaps it will be June.... :)

"Nic" names

2005-04-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

The nickname topic seems popular among the lady bloggers, so here's my story:
Needed a production company name for my first year of the Rogue Festival. came up with a combination of two of my nicknames. Jade Ed was a character I played long ago and far away at CSUFresno in a production called "See Heresy." (Subtitled a punk rock funeral.) Other characters were named Dinah Cancer and ... oh hell, can't remember, but I bet Tanjora's Lydia would. Anyway, bout the only thing I remember is that the entire cast wore black and leather. Jade Ed wore a particularly revealing bustier with a large faux tattoo bat flying out of the cleavage. :) And Jade Ed pulled a switchblade on the pastor. Jade Ed was a bad girl. So different from the innocent actress portaying her. The name followed me to KFSR were I jocked mostly vinyl for 3 years. At one point in the record store were I worked, we all had Ed names on our badges. Educated Ed, Frustrate Ed, Twitterpate Ed, Interest Ed, and when Jason took a spill on his motorcycle... Dislocate Ed.
Second part of the name was easy. Close friends (read; those who have carried a trillion boxes up and down stairs) started calling me Gypsy after bout my tenth move in 9 years. It's been 17 years now, and yep- 16 moves and counting.
Other names of Nic of note include: "Ducky" in high school, it's a "Pretty in Pink" thing; and by my once, but no longer best friend "Schmacky La La." Don't laugh, we called her "Pootie Lou Lou." Ok, laugh if ya want to.

Intuition or Insanity?

2005-04-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

How does one determine which voices in the head are negative, defeating self-talk to be overcome and which are are intuition's warnings to be heeded?

Shookie and the Snails

2005-04-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

The roomies and I are blessed with a large backyard. It has a nice little pond and lot's of lovely plants. However, we quite recently discovered that the plants were being munched on by gigantic colonies of not so lovely slugs with mobile homes attached to their backsides. Discussion ensued as to how best rid ourselves of these unwelcome guests. All decided that snail bait was not an option due to the furry friends we share our home with. Wouldn't want the dogs or kitties getting into that. Or, heaven forbid, the squirrels, as I've heard that can be quite harmful to the Karma.
So, Shookie walked round the yard with the mop bucket. Investigating under every leaf and bit of wood, depositing the little beasts as she went along. Soon the bucket was unbeleivably full. Next dilemma was, of course, what to do with them now. Discussed purging them with corn meal and cooking with butter and garlic. This idea was too labor intensive for Shook, and too distasteful for me. None of us fancied excecution. Final decision? Snail relocation project- Phase One.
Took the bucket of slimeys out to the divider (lovely grassy strip with trees which seperates the east bound from west bound traffic on our street) and dumped it.
Later that day, all seemed well. A large percentage of the legless wonders had climbed up and attached themselves to the lamp post. It was kind of attractive, very post-post modern artsy. Caught the neighbors on several occasions looking up at them with confused smiles on their faces. All was well.
Until day Two- the crazy little buggers apparantly have some sort of homing device or our nastertiums were calling them back to partake of their edible orange flowers. Anyway, bout half of them decided to cross the road back home. It was truly dreadful. There crushed carcasses still litter the asphault. I must say though, when the sun shines just right on the slime trails, it's breath taking! And the streetwise other half of the colony are doin' great.

2005-04-22T13:25:00.000-07:00

How the bloody hell does this thing work anyway? I'm longing for parchment and a quill as this may be too much technology for me to handle. Oh- and may I have a horse too please? The Mercury hates me.